[weldtech]

How many Forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...
another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 "industry professionals" to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 "know-it-alls" who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

21 to start a small "off-topic" cliquey sub-conversation about switches

3 to post example JPGs of different light bulbs

7 to post URL's where one can see more examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

3 to post links to FF, shocked at the fact that their light bulbs were orange.

2 to start other threads about your top 20 best/worst light bulbs of all time

1 to post a Photoshopped light bulb picture in a compromising position

1 to accuse some posters of starting a light bulb clique

2 to quote someone and just add a one word or single smiley reply.

11 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, just to add "Me too", or "What he/she said"

5 to post to the thread that they will no longer post, and will be leaving the forum because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

1 to break forum rules by posting a link to an illegal bulb download site.

1 to break forum rules by calling somebody a bawbag for saying that Osram were the best bulbs

2 to fall out over screw-in or bayonet fixings

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs", or "already covered last week, mate"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

1 to take it all seriously and go on a rant about how a light bulb changed their life.

[EDSGolf]

Wow, I learn something every day!

[Greg]

#1/14 who share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently:

I recall once I changed a light bulb, except it wasn't a light bulb per se, it was a fluorescent tube. So I had to twist it just so until it clicked and the light came on. The good thing is fluorescent lights don't get hot like normal light bulbs do.

[Butter Knife Guy]

I was going to say 3. One to change the lightbulb, and Stlcard & League to argue about who has more "incoherent rambling" posts.

[leaguegolf]

Originally Posted by Butter Knife Guy

I was going to say 3. One to change the lightbulb, and Stlcard & League to argue about who has more "incoherent rambling" posts.

Card and I never argue but your last post certainly qualifies you for the incoherent rambling title.

[Butter Knife Guy]

What happened to "Threadjacker's Anonymous", pg 54, League? Does it all of a sudden not exist? the posts may not count, but you two were still arguing....

[stlcard_25]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that argument was as staged as a WWF match. Besides, that was child's play...the private conversations are where the real heady arguments come in.

BTW, that's good stuff weldtech.

[leaguegolf]

Originally Posted by Butter Knife Guy

What happened to "Threadjacker's Anonymous", pg 54, League? Does it all of a sudden not exist? the posts may not count, but you two were still arguing....

You call that an argument? Card and I were just having a little fun....moderator style!

[Butter Knife Guy]

"how many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One dirty stinking ape to screw in the lightbulb, and two dirty stinking apes to throw feces at each other! hehehehe..... (sound of guns cocking)"



Man i love family guy...

[boomer]

ahhhh... but how many Pshyciatrists does it take to change said bulb



one, but the bulb must REALLLY want to change...

[Hacker100000]

That was brilliant weldtech. How about this?

Q. How many skateboarders does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 15 - 1 to change the lightbulb and 14 to stand around clap and say... "Dude that was sweet"

[coupe69]

Quality post Weldtech,

Here's a couple more for you

Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

[Inconsistent]

OK, I've gotta jump in on this:

How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

How many dyslexics does it change to take a light bulb? Eno.

How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes eight million years.

How many Florida residents does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows, they're still counting.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? The bicycle's broken.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.

[boomer]

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?
A2: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
A3: Only one Arian, but an awful lot of light bulbs. (*smash*)

Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a ten course meal and some great sex.
A2: None: Taureans don't like to change anything.
A3: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Two. Plus a portable phone, an Internet link and a copy of the "Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."
A2: Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.
A3: Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
A2: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!
A3: None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.


Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.
A2: One: He holds the bulb, and the world spins around him.
A3: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.
A4: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
A2: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
A3: Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who's fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb ...

Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Er, two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts, make that two. Is that okay with you?
A2: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?
A3: Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out. It might perhaps take just one if it's just an ordinary bulb, but maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new light bulb, or perhaps ...

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None --- they'd rather sit in the dark.
A2: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?
A3: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?
A2: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?
A3: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.
A2: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
A3: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...
A2: A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
A3: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?
A2: Huh? The light's out?
A3: None: only the inner light matters.

[boomer]

Q. How many voyeurs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but they'd much rather watch someone else do it.

Q: How many Yemenites does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but it must be a Yemenite lightbulb.

Q: How many customer service representatives does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: 5. One to incorrectly diagnose the problem, 2 to repeat the first
rep's notes to the customer, and one to inform the customer that the
lightbulb changing service is no longer available in that location.

Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.
A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
A4. Rottweiler: Make me.
A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can
I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from
the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of
the situation.
A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb?
A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little cluster...
A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light
bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE
STAFF.