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"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot
died.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International
competition?"

"Si, Senor,that's the one."

"****! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird."
"What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"

"Rotten meat? Who the **** fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thorougbred is dead?"

"Si Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains
caught on fire."

"What the ****??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed
because of a candle??!!!

"Si Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

" WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL"?



"Your wife's, Senor Rod...She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."

SILENCE...................



LONG SILENCE.............

"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep trouble!"