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Wow... ...over 22,000 viewings of the Threadjackers Anonymous thread... ...Do you think there are people out there who are reading this stuff, and then become too afraid to join Golfrewind.... .....???

...first impressions last... ...and all that stuff... ...???

...or maybe even Aliens are picking up this thread and studying us... ...and this thread, in preparation for an invasion???

..if they come to me first, then I`ll ask them to take stagday away to planet Blob...if they`re looking for a study specimen...! It seems fair to me, because if they have to travel 100,000 light years back home then stagday can practise his 39 point pre-shot routine... , over that timespan he could hit at least.....oooooh......I`d say about.... 40 golf balls.... into a practise net on the space ship!!!

...and then maybe another 40 golf balls on the return journey...

The aliens get to see what happens an old human body during space travel, and stagday gets to improve his game in the timeless space travel journey....everyone`s a winner in this scenario !

C-B-C... (we come in peace... )

If I go, Mrs. Tomlinson and I will send you a "card".

If I remember what I was taught about the theory of relativity (of course that was a verryy lonngg time ago), space travel may be the answer to stagday's aging issues.

If there`s ever a space ship developed than can travel faster than the speed of light, (and therefore help slow stagdays aging woes... ) then I would gladly make a donation so that stagday can get a seat on that flight/mission...because we`re all put here on this planet to help others....











































....but I`m only paying if it`s a one-way ticket...

C-B-C...

Lactose the Intolerant has asked me to paste his campaign speech on the GR Website:

As you all know, I am the leader of a very young and enthusiastic group of people called the "Northeast Berkshire Cheese Depreciation Society". It has been brought to my attention that the chairman of the "East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society" is no longer an effective leader and has on occasion abandoned it's following, leaving these poor defenseless women without protection and placing them in "harm's way".

Therefore, since there has been a call for a new election of ossifers for the East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society, I have been encouraged to place my hat in the ring and to run for the all prestigious position of Chairman.

As your new Chairman, I would melt the 2 organizations together under 1 name, , "The East Northeast Berkshire Neither Hard nor Soft Cheese Deprivation Society". It is time for a new beginning and new leadership(since the ppl are up in the stratosphere age wise and really could use some fresh cheese

It is quite obvious your current chairman has lost most of his powers, by his own admission, and is becoming ineffective in his position. I mean, afterall, how hard can it be to find me "Lactose the Intolerant" when things are active

I also would like to inform the voters that I have received a new endorsement from the "Mice Society" that the C-B-C has been donating cheese to.. Along with this, I have asked Mrs Crimbles to run along[(as my vice-chair)and she has graciously accepted.

I'm sure most of you will listen to reason and look for a new beginning under my leadership. My campaign slogan shall be:

Ham vol au vents for everyone, let's Microwave Power to the people


This ad has been paid for by: "The good folks at the M&M(out with sparkies ) Cheese Factory"
stagday, campaign chairman

A speech on behalf of Colourblindchameleon

Yesterday a member of this forum challenged my chairmanship of The East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society...! I`d like to take this opportunity to reply!



"...The East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society is facing difficult times. A storm is brewing, with the centre of that storm being a tyrant named Lactose the Intolerant, a dangerous, cold hearted, evil man who has pitched a war against our Cheese Society for the past 13 years! His anger stems from when we expelled him from the Cheese Society . He was so enraged at his expulsion, that ever since he has pursued an evil vendetta against us, and wishes to replace the worlds entire Cheese reserves with soya based products , just to satisfy his twisted mind (see post 703 of this thread)

Lactose the Intolerant is a merciless villain, he cannot be trusted. He will promise certain people `the world`, and seduce them with his offers of power sharing, and many will fall for his charms. However, if he is allowed to prevail, then this storm cloud will cast a shadow over all of Europe...an evil shadow that this continent hasn`t seen the likes of for several decades. An iron curtain will descend here, and in due course Lactose the Intolerant will cast his evil greedy eyes upon other nations, and seek to crush their Cheese enthusiasts too !!! Do not let this happen... Remain steadfast.. Do not compromise...Do not bend !... Do not waiver !...

Although the membership of the East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society may be very elderly, they are not foolhardy either. They have faced, and defeated the likes of Lactose the Intolerant before, in their younger days, in their prime, they answered their calling.... Please therefore cast your vote to help me maintain their Cheese Society, just how they like it, and please...do not ask what Cheese can do for you, but instead ask yourself what can you do for Cheese...when you come to place your vote..."

Colourblindchameleon.

Lactose the Intolerant promises a new beginning, a time to melt 2 into 1

colourblindchameleon only offers you fear and personal degradation of his opponent


Do you want to feel younger, have more energy,get your handicap down to scratch, spring out of bed with a new outlook on life? Then try the NEW Product offered by Lactose the Intolerant,

The Oscar de la Soya putter melt. guaranteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to take those yips and shanks and hammer them til they're smooth as silk.:




if you vote for Lactose, you will receive a free $10.00 coupon towards the purchase of a Oscar de la Soya putter melt

This ad is paid for by the "Irish Berkshire Soya/Cheese Society" located in Mexico City, Mexico.

stagday, campaign chairman

not to change the subject, but, wasn't that origional intent anyway...I'll be out of pocket until monday am, so keep me off the MIA thread. No, I'm not going across the pond..but to Virginia to see my son, but i believe i will stop in to see Dubyah while i'm there to see what we can do to help my buddy c-b-c out with his problems.

Hey Boomer. Maybe you could help the C-B-C find his shoes while you're over there. I do happen to have an extra pair, but they're just a little petrified at the moment.

C-B-C, how do you explain the fact that Mrs. Crimble has taken her light and tasty vol au vents to the "other" side and is now
stagday 's vice-chair? This information could have a negative impact on your campaign.

I can`t say what Mrs Crimble is doing... ...as careless talk costs lives... , as they used to say , let`s just say she`s not the sweet ol` lady that stagday or Lactose the Intolerant thinks she is....

If you`d asked me whether she`s working as an undercover agent on behalf of the East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society , then obviously I`d be unable to discuss the matter , that would be foolish of me, oh yes, yes indeedy, discretion...and secrecy...that`s what it`s alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll about , yep, `silent as the grave` am I , `mum`s the word` , yep no blabbermouth is going to blow Mrs Crimbles cover here ....I`ll make sure of that...

C-B-C... ...(Formerly known as C-I-5)

I have just been informed of some alarming news

Lactose the Intolerant has run-off with Mrs. Crimbles tasty vol au vents , all, yes all, of the campaign cash, and,and,AND Mrs. Crimbles herself(she's such a sneak) to Switzerland and an anonymous bank account.

I'm just absolutely devastated. I guess the C-B-C was right, he is a low-down turncoat, cowardly in nature and definitely not to be trusted.

In the wake of such devastating news, there is no alternative but to call the election and award the Chairmanship to the C-B-C.:

To all of the supporters and GR's that voted in this election, it is now time to offer our congratulations to C-B-C and wish him a successfull term as the leader of the OLD and still aging East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society

there's still some cash and vol au vents that LTI did not know about.

The TRUTH wins out! Congratulations C-B-C !

It takes a big man to type those words.
(I know how hard that had to be for you. )
I'm sure the cash and vol au vents will be used for a worthy cause.

Firstly, thank you to all those who kindly supported me during the recent chairmanship episode that has now concluded.. ...it has been a very difficult and turbulent time...but I`m now pleased to say the future looks bright

Secondly, stagday...don`t feel bad about matters... ....because Lactose the Intolerant has left nothing but a trail of deceit, treachery, and bloodshed behind him at the Cheese appreciation societies throughout the south-east of England... ...so you weren`t the first to be deceived by him...!

On a lighter note it was pleasing to see the members enjoying themselves once again. The East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society held its first monthly meeting since the chairmanship challenge. The guest speaker was Major Orville Thomthwart, whose discussion was entitled `Cheese knives...which one for you!`. The speech was over four hours long, (with a rather colourful slide show too) but the time just flew by, because we were all so absorbed by the subject matter...most interesting! The second part of the speech is next month , apparently it`s entitled `Cheese boards...which one to go with your new Cheese knife` and if it`s going to be anything like as interesting as last nights talk, then I`ll not be the only one at the society making sure it`s in their diary next month!!!!!

Indeed, given recent troubles, it`s nice to know that Major Orville Thomthart`s speech last night was the only `Night of the Long Knives` that I had to worry about....these days...

C-B-C (Proud to be) The re-instated chairman of The East Berkshire Hard Cheese Appreciation Society

Actually, I have retired from the bench. My perogative.

But I would refer you to post 1519 and 1521 in this thread. And besides, this kind of language towards a retired judge does not exactly score you any points.

And another thing, I have heard the same old story soooooooooo many times before,"I'm innocent, I'm innocent, I couldn't have done anything wrong!!!" Sorry league, but it's cliche. I would suggest you get yourself a good lawyer, afterall, the glove did fit, just ask anyone here.

And just one more thing. Your new avatar gives you somewhat more respectability than that spy-thing you had, although it was probably more apro-po

stag da judge, retired(a judge who never convicted an innocent person. a perfect record, even if I do say so myself.)