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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:



A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.



As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She
looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to
her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"



The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."


would this be a thread -jack?

Not any more...........

YOU DA MANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

You are a quick one ,,, mista grinch

She's ugly! ...Yeah, but she sure can cook, baby!
If ya wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

That's a funny joke, but it was in the wrong section. Fun & Games for us "Mista Grinches!"

Change the title of the thread, it's confusing me!!!!!!!!

And it's funny.... but if someone did that to me I'd... ok maybe I shouldn't say on here.

Hey now even ugly people need love.....

hmmm, `Fridays joke day`...oh,er, I`m not on that forum anymore . Anyhow, how about this one...
A man is walking down the street when an angry looking stranger rushes up to him and throws some bread rolls,potato wedges,palma ham,prawns and soup at him............... and that was just for starters..!

Somehow that joke doesn't quite satisfy me and leaves me wanting something more

ok.

A guy has just discovered that he won the lottery, while his wife was out shopping.
She comes home and he greets her "Hey honey, Great news !, pack your bags!... I just won the lottery!"
She says "That's fantastic, babe ! But why the bags ? Where are we going ?"
He says "Oh, we aren't going anywhere. I just want you out of my house."










My wife didn't think this was funny.

THAT'S HORRIBLE! I can completely understand why she didn't think it was funny.

Hehehe.... I find it funny, but If I was that wife I'd chuck the bags at him!

A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm. He asks the barman for two pints.
"...one for me, and one for the road "

Aww, it wasn't that bad was it ? Would it be funny if the husband & wife roles were reversed ?

Does your wife read this forum still??

Cedarratt ..........Hey now even ugly people need love..... AND food too