I played yesterday with a "bud" of mine. To make a long story short, we're both about equal when it comes to playing but I think I edge him out play wise. He hits his irons better than me but overall I'm posting the better score.
Anyway, we both play pretty bad on the front. I'm like 14 over and he is 16 over..yes super-bad. Anyway, on the back 9, I'm lighting it up and at the 16th hole I'm even for the back 9 score. He on the other hand has gotten severly worse with consecutive triples and doubles.
I have a easy 3 footer uphill for a birdie. I take my stance and address the ball about to putt. Out of no where I hear "whoo whoo whoo". I'm like what the heck..and stop and look at him. I said what are you doing and he's just grinning. I get set up again and he does the same "whoo whoo whoo"..you know like how the opposing team tries to throw off the shooter at a free throw line. Unbelievable.
Anyway I stop again, and ask him to stop that's this is for birdie. He stops and I miss the birdie with a easy tap in.
I ask him why the heck he did that and he said that he would feel bad if I had made a birdie..HUH?! (Mind you we're both korean and he more culturally korean than I) Anyway, he said he'll give me the birdie. I told him "no thanks" and took the par.
He was surprised how good I was playing and I told him just relax and don't swing out of your shoes..like he has been. He said OK, I told it's too late now since we're at the 17th..LOL Nothings gonna help his score today.
Poetic justice: we're at the 18th and both on our approach to a par 4. He's on in 3 with a 4 footer to save. I'm actually 50 yards from the green lying 3..ugh. I get set and hit a little chip. It flies perfect and checks and proceeds to roll..it's tracking beautifully on the green..it's going..going..going..PLOP! I get up and down for a chip in par save..LOL It was awesome! He gives me no hoots and hollers here and just says nothing. He eventually 2 putts to make double bogey.
Afterwards we're walking out toward our car and he's a little ahead of me. I'm about 5 feet from him. He tells me I'm walking too slow..WHAT THE HECK! I'm kinda' infuriated now so I decided to give hima dose of my verbal judo.
I know he doesn't want to know what he shot but too bad. I count all the strokes and told him I shot an 88 and he was 35 over and didn't even break 100. He gives our a bogus smile and shakes his head. This was the last time we'll play again. Why are some poor losers so...poor!
I'd say the way you deal with them is just as you mentioned....there's no reason to play with someone who is purposely trying to ruin your round like that. Nice job on the back nine there though.
It's one thing to be competitive and quite another to be jealously inconsiderate.
The one thing that I always admired about the Koreans I know is that they never quit, an attitude that eventually pays big dividends. I'm sure that cultural stereotypes are unfair to and not representative of large numbers of people, but hating to lose is a vastly superior cultural characteristic to abusing your opponent and wishing him ill.
I have some 'friends' like that...seems like they are always subtly hoping I fail because they always play terrible. Its like if they can't play good then no one will!
seems like the best dose of reality/revenge for this guy is to just out play him..he becomes "quiet"..it's actually nice..I have noticed people like him don't last and eventually end up with a train wreck of a score. He's a good guy outside of golf..just when we're playing he becomes the evil Dr. Jekyl.
or you could wait until he opens his trunk to put in his clubs, smack him with a driver, roll him in, and shut the trunk. OKAY< OKAY maybe a little over the top.....but at least he'll really have something to gripe about.
This is a very good topic. It is unfortunate that we, "as golfers" must put up with this type of behavior. Golf is a very funny sport which tests a persons mental fortitude to the fullest! The fact that many people choose or inadvertly choose to deal with disappointment in this manner is quite strange, yet funny when you think about it. Although it is intially percieved as no laughing matter when a person shows no sense of ehtics, the train of events leading to this behavior is quite amusing. "Misery loves company" is a saying that comes to mind. As far as dealing with it, just be encouraging when they hit & ignore them when they are crying. I believe this is called the Ferber method. (a technique used to teach babies how to cope.)
I have found that the behavior of people I play with can have a big impact on how well I play. It really helps my play if I can relax with people who have a releaxed attitude and are trying to play well.
I suppose it's possible to adjust to someone who becomes an idiot while you're playing -- at least you will know what to expect and can ignore him.
The worst round I ever had was with a father and son -- the father could not stop himself from criticizing everything the poor boy did. Of course, the father played terribly -- I really wanted to tell him that he was in no position to be telling anyone how to play the game.
This is a very good topic. It is unfortunate that we, "as golfers" must put up with this type of behavior. Golf is a very funny sport which tests a persons mental fortitude to the fullest! The fact that many people choose or inadvertly choose to deal with disappointment in this manner is quite strange, yet funny when you think about it. Although it is intially percieved as no laughing matter when a person shows no sense of ehtics, the train of events leading to this behavior is quite amusing. "Misery loves company" is a saying that comes to mind. As far as dealing with it, just be encouraging when they hit & ignore them when they are crying. I believe this is called the Ferber method. (a technique used to teach babies how to cope.)
Congrats on the chip-in BTW.
Yes I have utilized this "Ferber" method everytime I play with this guy..LOL..almost seems like I'm patronizing him..at least humoring him..he eats it up too..but it seems like people like this need this to stay afloat..unfortuantely I will only play 9 holes with him now..I'd rather deal with 2 hours of pain than 4 right..?
Its really bad form to intentionally put someone off at any point during a game.
Heck its blooming embarrassing to me if I unintentionally put someone off a stroke, but that's just me. But to do something on purpose, well I think that is dreadful
I used to play with someone like that. He never made noises when I putted but when we played a casual round he would take all kinds of mulligans and then tell me how great we played. I remember playing one round with him and I parred 18 to shoot 78. He parred it to for the same score and he was bragging about shooting the same score as me, but he forgot about the half a dozen mulligans he used during the round. I wasn't going to waste my breathe and eventually I decided it wasn't worth the energy to play with this loser.
May 2nd, 2005, 06:02 PM
How to deal with these type of golfers..?
(a technique used to teach babies how to cope.)
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