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Hi all
not posted anything for a bit but would like your opinion on an ongoing argument at home.


missis says i do nothing but play golf all the time and i am neglecting her and my 7 year old son.

her is my current schedule

i have a golf lesson usually on a wednesday night this means i could be out for 2 or 3 hours.

i play 9 holes on a friday night but usually i am in b4 9

i play in a tournament on saturday morning and sometimes an extra round after but have not for past 3 weeks because off the ear ache.

i play sometimes on a sunday with some friends, didnt last sunday because off family.

am i playing too much?

if i was single i would play practice most days.

if i do practice any extra evenings i usually go in local field where i take my son (learn them young).

i have taken her a few times but she has no interest in the game.

please keep in mind that golf is all i think about (dream about)and i dont drink or do much of anything else.

question am i being too selfish , do i spend too much time on golf? what are your opinions / experiences?

thanks all

I would suggest trying to play early Saturday morning so you can get home and 'do your time' with the family

usually get back about 1 - 2

What % of the weekend daylight hours per month do you spend playing golf away from family? If it's greater than 50% (which it sounds to me like it is) AND you are getting flack from your wife, then it's obvious that you are neglecting your family.

It's funny how it takes an ear ache to get you off the course but not your son.

It's funny how you "didn't [play] sunday because of family"... I think that says it all right there...

son is usually at grandparents saturday and sunday

I suggest getting the rest of your family to play. Get a set of jr. clubs for you son take him with you. Then all you have to do is get you wife hooked and everything will take care of itself.... just a thought.

I have this problem in a different manner. I am divorced and get my 8-year-old daughter every other weekend, so it rules out getting into a regular weekend round.

I counter this by usually playing twice on the weekends I do not have her (sometimes 36 on the same day, sometimes teeing off at 5:30 a.m. to get 18 in and get home before 12:00 each day).

I also play in an informal 9-holer every Tuesday. Earlier in the season I adjusted my hours so I could play 18 in the morning (again teeing off with the sun) and then working late but this made for a long day at work. I have recently used vacation time to take every Friday afternoon off to get an extra round in.

On top of this my daughter knows the inside of my favorite golf shops very well (she has a large collection of animal headcover "puppets" and has a starter set to use with me when I take her to the range (she's a lefty so I can keep an eye on her easily and she can watch me swing). Soon this wil progress to taking her out on an executive 9-holer somewhere and letting her hit off the tee and putt.

I guess this isn't much help to you other than validation that you are not alone. I am hoping my daughter takes to the game enough to give us something in common that we can do together more as she gets older.

this is what i suggest you do:

do your golf lesson
take your wife and son out to dinner on friday (no golf)
play saturday
and every other sunday
an occasional range time would be ok, but going fishing would be better.

I see you list your time about golf.........

NOW....... list how much time you spend with the family at outside the house interests......like dinning....movies....etc..etc....

movies 4 to 6 hours a week, bike riding dog walking 4 - 5 hours a week, dont often go out for meals down to financial reasons, (golf i play mainly at a cheap course where it is only 11 a round golf lesson i get for free due to being friends with pro) play cards and other games a few hours a week.

You play on Wed for 2 hours, and Saturday for 5 hours. Sometimes on Sunday you play for 5 hours. This doesn't sound too much to me but I can sympathize
with your wife because she probably does'nt get out without taking your son with her everywhere. You could even this out with her by taking her somewhere after golf (alone) Sat nites. Go to church together Sun am and brunch afterwards then hit the links. Take you son to the golf lesson on Wednesdays so your wife can get away and you should be able to work everything out. Friday nite as a Family nite wouldn't be a bad idea either.

Sounds balanced to me.....but remember.....No woman wants balance/competion for her family. They want the family to be first, not second.

take your son out maybe golfing, thats good fun

Okay, I will put in the woman's point of view here I would say that if you did not have a 7 year old son that no you were not playing to much golf. But, since you do, then I say that maybe you are. Probably your wife is resenting the fact that you have your alone time to enjoy something that you want to do. Meanwhile she has full responsibility of entertaining your young son while you are gone which she probably does the majority of the time. Maybe try taking your son with you to the golf course more often to give your wife a little free time of her own. Also you could try using some of that time that your son is at the grandparents on the weekends to have some alone time with your wife instead of spending it all on the golf course. Now before any of you guys get your feathers ruffled over this, let me say that my husband and I have been married now for 15 years and he has played golf every Saturday and Sunday, Holiday and the occassional Friday every week of our married life no matter what else is happening on those days, he plays golf all day. This has never bothered me because we did not have small children and I really enjoyed the time that he was gone and I could do things that I wanted to do! Now, I have started playing golf and I am at the course or the practice range more than he is One thought. When we first married, I used to go to the course with my husband and watch him play. I was not in the least bit interested in the game, but I enjoyed the time outdoors and just being together, so maybe invite her along just because you want to be with her

This is at its core a question about who you're going to try to please. Are you going to be loving and fulfill your marital responsibilities and please your wife? Or are you going to be selfish and please yourself at all costs?

I'd imagine that something in your marriage vows has to do with being faithful to your wife and not others. How much more should you be faithful to love her instead of a game?

You don't have to give up the game, but give up the worship of the game. If you care anything about your family, make some concessions.

Imagine that your wife went out shopping three times a week and left you alone with your daughter. Would it be fun? Sure. But wouldn't it get under your skin after a while that she was leaving three times a week to go do something without you to have fun?