DYHIW every time you try and play a round or go to practice, you know you're going to get a call from the wife harrassing you about "when are you going to get home? how long is this going to take?". And you know that you can answer (but smartly do not)
a) about as long as one of your manicure/nail salon sessions
b) until I've come about even to the time spent at 'girls night out'
c) well that 'chick-flick' about the emotional growth and tribulations of several female friends you made me watch last night was about 2 hours, so that should give you an idea.
d) I don't know, how long did I spend (washing your car/fixing your mother's sink/re-arranging your numerous boxes in storage for more ****/any other miscellaneous honey-do) on that yesterday? About that long.
Ain't marriage a beautiful thing?
Last edited by ForgedRbest : November 21st, 2006 at 07:15 PM.
Reason: Fixing quote
...you make a gir on #1, swinging well and looking forward to good results for the day, go to your bag and realize you left your putter in the living room where you had been practicing the night before...
...you make a gir on #1, swinging well and looking forward to good results for the day, go to your bag and realize you left your putter in the living room where you had been practicing the night before...
You just made the hairs on my back stand up on this one. About a month ago I drove an hour to meet my 3 buddies on a beautiful course, planned a week in advance, took off work, etc. On the first hole I'm on the green in regulation (yippy), then reach for my putter and my heart sank when- it wasn't there. Then I realized that neither was my SW or my lob wedge. I was practicing dilligently in my home for hours the previous days to prepare- and left them there.
I putted out w/ my friends putter and drove the cart back to the clubhouse and rented 3 lousy clubs and paid for them. Couldn't get used to them and played poorly. Now that was a jagged little pill to swallow.
DYHIW... After all this frustration, you get into the clubhouse (w/your friends on the tee), and there's a line in front of you and one employee working.
LordEmery, This is where you tell your buddys to meet you on the second hole! Wink Wink!
DYHIW you have a simple up and down for birdie on the par 5 18th to shoot under par for the round and you rush the the chip, chunk, it halfway home, and miss the long putt? DYHIEW (don't you hate it even worse) when you drop a ball next to where you chunked your chip..........and hole it out!
That could've put a damper on my round today but I played in low 30 degree temps with 10-15 mph winds and played about as solid of a round as I have all year. It was especially satisfying because I've played only once in the last three weeks. This is definitely the kind of round that keeps me thinking about golf while I'm in the fast approaching deep freeze.
DYHIW you post about how you played in 30 degree temps, and then the next guy comes along and tells you that it's been an unseasonably warm 80 degrees where he lives for the last week?
You're going to play speed golf on the back nine to make it back before it's dark in less than an hour and you run into a foursome who are, dad-blast-it, gonna get through #13 before it gets too dark for us to play anymore!
You can outdrive your dad by 50 yards consistently and have a better swing, yet have never beaten him because you're just a bad golfer?
You line up to hit your 6-iron when you realize that the line is under the "9" on your club and your friend just drove the cart over to the other side of the fairway :)
You line up to hit your 6-iron when you realize that the line is under the "9" on your club...
I play early mornings almost exclusively, and this happens about once a month...sleepy eyed, standing over my 6 or 9 iron shot wondering why is the club so short/long?
(Today's events)...you just miss making the green in 2 on a par 5 and you walk away with bogey or worse...
...you really blow a sand shot because you have been struggling lately; move it 4 inches and then when the pressure is off on the second shot hit the flagstick for a 2 in putt...
...you are on 18 and have been driving well all day, blow one ob, and then on the successive tee shot decide to let it all hang out and rip a goregous shot one 40 yds short of the green dead center of the fairway around a dogleg, get up and down and walk away with bogey...aggghhhh!!!...........
...you get beat up by the course and can't wait to go the next time!?!?!...
I play early mornings almost exclusively, and this happens about once a month...sleepy eyed, standing over my 6 or 9 iron shot wondering why is the club so short/long?
I've done it only once...a few years ago...and, by Murphy's law subset G (golf) it happened to be the best shot I hit that day. That 135 yard shot sure was pretty when it sailed straight over the flag waving "bye-bye".
You just pured a 7-wood high, deep, and far off the middle of the fairway from the 200 yard stick and it's headed right at the flag. Then it disappears from site, then your buddy next to you says, why did you use a 7-wood from the 150 yard marker?
(took a penalty and a triple bogie on the 1st hole when I thought I was putting for birdie).
Your practicing your swing with your club of choice in the Den or Living room and either
1. Hit the ceiling
2. destroy the ceiling fan or light fixture
Your practicing your swing with your club of choice in the Den or Living room and either
1. Hit the ceiling
2. destroy the ceiling fan or light fixture
About 25 years ago, I was a middle school band director and one day during the summer took a "short break" from cleaning up instruments by swinging my 5 iron in the band room. Unfortunately, I took a full size divot from the pretty new carpet. The custodian, who was the wife of the maintenance director, walked in as I was trying desperately to glue it back down. She gave me a fit about that divot for years afterward.
I was watching the golf channel one evening. My wife was shopping and my stepson was watching TV in his room. Our Llasa was asleep on the couch in the den with me.
The instructor was talking about adding power by insuring that you finished your follow through. I had an old 7 iron leaning against the fireplace and picked it up and began to make full swings being sure to follow through all the way. Out of the clear blue, the dog stepped out from behind me and directly into the path of a pretty well swun 7 iron.
The sound was awful and Huey (the dog's name was Huey) went right over on his side, his eyes open and dilated - it did not appear he was breathing. I dropped to my knees and put my ear to his chest to check his heart. He was beathing very shallowly. My first thought was, "Can I get my clothes packed and be out of here before my wife gets back?" Then I came to my senses and called for my stepson while I got the emergency vet on the phone.
When I picked Huey up, he was stiff as a board, but still alive. I drove and my stepson held the dog in his lap while we rushed to the clinic. About halfway there, Huey came to and immediately threw up all over my son and the interior of my car. By the time we got to the vet, he was wagging his tail and appeared to be alright. We had the vet look him over anyway and he discovered that I had broken off one of his teeth and relocated it enough that surgery was going to be required the next day.
$300 later, we got a happy Huey back and all my golf clubs were banned from the living areas of the house forever....well, at least until I got rid of the wife.. Now I do not own a dog and I can play golf in the house if I want.
The moral of the story........Money, dogs, and women are temporary. Golf is forever!
Amen, brother...
I have a new wife.. Before we got married, I told her, "My ex-wife used to gripe about me playing golf all the time.... I told her not to make me make a choice." She stared at me for a minute and said, "You're serious, aren't you?"
November 18th, 2006, 07:36 PM
/any other miscellaneous honey-do) on that yesterday? About that long.
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