As me and my golfing partner went our different ways once we left school, I started a plumbing apprenticeship and he went to a sports college, He went for a sports a level, But he only did that so he could also do the golf academy, Not aiming for any real A level. He has jus told me that he would like to play Regional PGA Events next summer, He is off 28 handicap. He is really thinking he could turn pro out of all this, As much as id love him to go pro, I feel he has his head in the clouds a little bit. Should I be the one to knock him back down to earth or has he actuially got a chance and should I support him?
It depends upon how close you two are John. With anyone I've ever considered a close friend, I've always felt I could be very honest. The only exception being if I didn't care for his choice of female ... I'm not crazy. He obviously needs some "reality therapy" and if he's planning on making any life-altering and/or expensive choices in pursuit of this I would feel I owed it to him to tell him the truth.
p.s. You didn't say how long he'd been playing, but anyone who's been playing for a more than a couple of years still carrying a 28, thinking he has a shot at going pro.... well I have a better shot at becoming the next Pope.
I agree with forged...Support him, and if he fails, which is sounds like there is a chance, be there for him. Chances are, he'd be happier with you if you were there for him, rather than telling him he's not good enough. I know I would at least...
Support him! Why would you want to destroy his dream?
We can all dream...Ive supported him so far, But thinking to his future, If he dosnt make it and a few years down the line, Whats he gonna do then?? Tghen again I guess its his choice. Hes been playing around 3 years wazman.
We can all dream...Ive supported him so far, But thinking to his future, If he dosnt make it and a few years down the line, Whats he gonna do then?? Tghen again I guess its his choice. Hes been playing around 3 years wazman.
Well I sympathize with Forged & Bama's kind intentions, but if this is going to cost him a lot of money and time, I'd want the truth from a friend to save me the unnecessary regrets down the road. If he just started or was a bit(quite a bit) better, I'd agree with Bama & Forged. But after 3 years, if he's still a 28... one has to face facts.... there isn't a great deal of natural ability there. On the other hand, it's nothing to lose a friendship over if you think that's what being honest with him would come to.... it's his life and his money. I'd want the truth... but that's just me.
I think I would want my real friends to be honest with me. If my buddy was a 28 handicap and talked to me about investing his time and money to improve his game with the intent of turning pro, and asked me what I thought -- I would be honest with my opinion.
But I would let him know that whatever his choice I would be there to support him any way I could, except financially!
I seriously doubt that those that posses the athletic capability necessary to play this game on a professional level ever started with a handi cap as high as your friends.
Desire and a good work ethic are great but sometimes not enough.
Find a tactful way to tell your friend or better yet try to arrange a round of golf with someone who does play at a very high level and I think he will quickly see your point.
I agree with Generr and Murph. A real friend would provide some honest feedback.
I'm no "Dear Abby", but one time I kept my thoughts to myself, and it was a big mistake. This female friend of mine was dating this guy that was a real jerk. She is a pretty darn good package, and he didn't treat her very well, etc. She married him and was divorced < 2 years later. Turns out all of her close friends were thinking the same thing, but wanted to be supportive, so none of us said anything.
She found out he had been cheating on her while they were dating and married.
Tell it like it is!!!!! - You don't have to smack someone inthe face, used some "kid gloves" if need be.
Find a tactful way to tell your friend or better yet try to arrange a round of golf with someone who does play at a very high level and I think he will quickly see your point.
I was thinking along these lines as well...secure tickets to a professional event, your treat. If, after watching the pros up close and personal, your buddy decides he's still got what it takes, then you might as well support him (with tactful skepticism) because he's deluding himself and you don't want to be the one to burst his bubble. You might do as Murph suggested and find him a match (might even be you) and remind him that he must contend at the local level if he is ever to make it as a pro (even on a mini tour). You might also suggest that golf might be as much or more rewarding to us amateurs as we don't have to deal with the rigors of travelling on tour, stress, pressure, etc. There are peeps on this board that can attest to the fact that there are lots of ways to make a living in golf without going on tour. If he insists on maintaining his dream, let him....within reason. If he decides to make a huge commitment at significant expense and you're still convinced it ain't a gonna happen, then you might break it to him gently, explaining that you're just trying to save him some pain. Hopefully he'll realize how lucky he is to have a friend like you in his corner. Best of luck, John.
March 16th, 2005, 03:00 PM
... I'm not crazy. He obviously needs some "reality therapy" and if he's planning on making any life-altering and/or expensive choices in pursuit of this I would feel I owed it to him to tell him the truth. 
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