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for a right handed golfer. you only use your fingertips and barely grip it with the right hand? its only used for as a guide? thats what my instructor said

Sounds right, the right hand only really guides the club.

I have always been told/read that the grip (Right Handed Golfer) is in the last three fingers of the left hand and the middle two fingers of the right. I looked at this recently as I also read that tention in the arms/shoulders comes from gripping too hard with the thumb and first fingers of both hands.

Also dont forget light grip pressure with both hands, maybe on a scale of 1 - 10 grip at 3 or 4. Gripping too tightly can kill your swing. Hope this helps as an addition to what your instructor said.

Like Kevan said, gripping the club too tightly will reduce your swing speed and the ability for your hands to release, which leads to an open clubface at impact causing more pushes and slices.

This is news to me. So I should grip the club only lighly. How lightly exactly? Right now I grip the club very hard in order to control the swing, I was unaware that was wrong.

So it's better to just gently hold the club throughout the swing. It would be difficult to do but if it's the right way I'll work on it. I just wonder how lightly exactly.

Yes, you definitely don't want to grip to tightly.

It's also important to keep a constant pressure throughout the swing.

I typically grab my club with my left hand and then lightly place my right hand on the grip.

When my swing goes wrong, it's usually because my right hand is trying to take over. I've even had to tape some knuckles on my right hand before as a reminders.

I remember watching TGC and some guest was talking about grip pressue. He said something to the effect of, if you hold you the club 45* from either horizontal, you should only grip the club just hard enough so someone cannot pull the club from you (if they pulled lightly). Not sure if that is any help, or if that even made any sense!

I would agree with Kevan's comment about gripping the club about a 3 or 4 on a 1-10 scale.

It is difficult to do right away, because our natural instinct is to put a death grip on the club so that it won't fly away. I had that trouble when I first started golfing. I hit tons of slices and I couldn't figure out why. I worked on my alignment, coming over the top, EVERYTHING, but it wouldn't help. Not to sound cliche, but once I heard the tip about grip pressure, it really helped straighten out my ball flight.
Also, remember, that's part of the reason the grip is tapered, so that centrifugal force won't rip the club from our hands during the swing.

Also, having tacky grips helps tremendously. It enables you to be able to have a lighter grip, yet still maintain control!

here's a short cut I picked up I don't know where, but has worked for me on the course and you can test it in your living room. address the ball as you would normally. from that position pick the club up with your arms staight and relaxed until the butt end is in line with your navel, then raise the club so the toe points just under your chin......you'll feel the difference in grip pressure as you raise the club, that's the pressure you want to hit with. keep that same pressure as you lower your club back down to address. try it, good luck...

For me, if holding the club so lightly that it slips out of my hand = 0, and gripping it as tightly as possible = 10, I 'hold' it at around 3 - just a tad tighter than I would when shaking hands with a lady (which, by the way, I sometimes wish could be an alternative form of greeting protocol, whilst other times I'm terribly thankful for the appropriate decorum... depending on the 'lady')